Leadership and Coaching is about empowering people to grow and change.

One of the biggest obstacles to personal growth is our language.

The science of “NeuroLinguistic Programming” - often known as “NLP” - states that your language reflect the workings of your brain. This gives all of us a window into changing the way your brain functions. It is the reverse of the first statement above.

You can change the way your brain functions by changing your language.

For this reason: Using Empowering Language is one of the keys to personal growth.

As a business leader using coaching skills, changing the language of your team and in your relationships with team members will change their effectiveness as well.

Throw out disempowering/victim language and watch how things change.

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This Week’s Example: The Word “Need”
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The Word “NEED”

The purest meaning of “Need” is “an absolute requirement”.

The most common use of “Need” is as a substitute for the word
“Should”. It might be used more accurately like this …

“I REALLY NEED TO DO THAT, BUT I HAVEN’T GOT THE TIME/ENERGY/RESOURCES/GUTS/GUMPTION to actually get it done.”

What this really means is that you haven’t made the Choice to do it.

Using the word “Need” is a disempowering guilt trip and allows you to lump this activity in with all the other things you “need” or “should” or “ought to” do.

If we spoke the truth, it would go something like this,

“I HAVEN’T CHOSEN TO DO THIS … I HAVEN’T TAKEN THE RESPONSIBILITY TO GET IT DONE”.

TRY THIS INSTEAD
- Take you list of “need to do’s” and decide is this something I really need - an absolute requirement?
- If it is then make sure you do it often enough to get that need met.
- If it is not a true need, then do it/ditch it/delegate it and get it off your list.

COMMIT from now on to use the word “Need”

only

when you are talking
about “an absolute requirement” and see the difference this makes
in how you feel about yourself and your ability to reach your
goals.

As you become aware of the word need and how disempowering
it really is, you will begin to notice how commonly it is used in
this way.

Using “need” truthfully and substituting the word
“choose” when appropriate is a major change in language that will
help your brain shift into a much more empowering way of
functioning.